Feeling guilty and stupid
Because my lovely, baby cousin just sent me pictures of her scan telling me it’s a baby girl called Grace who will be due on my birthday…
I’m feeling guilty and stupid because instead of being overjoyed I cried.
The thing is I am happy for her, and so excited that there will be a new baby in the family, so why am I so upset?
A new baby girl, from someone ten years younger and I’m still waiting on fertility treatment…
I’m now avoiding my family, as I know the only thing ill hear is “when are you having any” and “we’re surprised it’s not you first”. It’s like a knife in my soul every time, I now I shouldn’t avoid them but FUCK this hurts!
Sorry, had to vent and this blog, and you guys are the only way I can.